Some Words About Performance

I had my first annual performance evaluation at work a few weeks ago. In nearly every way, it was good. It was very constructive, and I got ideas for what I can do, and genuine goals to work toward, from people who care about my professional growth. It’s a foreign feeling, previously coming from a place that valued only the ‘product’ (service) I provided and cared little about the quality. Still, the perfectionist in me struggles. And I just have to smack that guy down, because he’s anything but helpful.

• The perfectionist sees suggestions and critiques as flaws, rather than seeing the potential.
• The perfectionist gets down on himself for not knowing more, rather than acknowledging that everything takes time.
• The perfectionist wants to be awesome now, rather than accepting that the only way to get awesome is to start at the beginning and work hard to reach new heights.
• The perfectionist wants to be good at everything right away, instead of focusing on 1-2 things at a time and really honing those skills before moving on.

I have to remind myself that I’m still only just beginning. I have to tell myself that, in time, things will truly ‘click’ and I will come into my own. In the meantime, I have to keep myself from being my own worst critic, embrace the journey, and cherish the little victories.